The year of tens

The year of tens (only MC will truly understand what this means, but the rest is straightforward): ten goals for 2010.

1) Spend at least one night in at least ten states (I'd put countries instead but this seems much more feasible for a non-baller like myself).

2) Read ten books - I failed pretty miserably at last year's goal of a book per week so hopefully this pans out (I did read Still Life with Woodpecker, Chinese Cinderella, Running with Scissors, The Road, No Country for Old Men, Shutter Island, The Camel Club).

3) Use at least ten vacation days. I used 4 of my 18 last year.

4) Go to the gym or workout at least ten times a month (roughly one third of the year).

5) Spend at least ten nights/weekends at home in Old Bridge.

6) Learn how to cook ten new dishes.

7) Take at least ten MMA/BJJ/etc classes this year (I know, very few classes but need to be realistic).

8) Learn how to say thank you, you're welcome, hello, goodbye and hopefully some more common phrases in ten languages (currently at eight with thank-you and you're welcome: cantonese, mandarin, spanish, german, dutch, french, italian, and tagalog).

9) Take ten amazing pictures that I'll eventually print and hang up in my apt. This kind of goes along with this idea I had of taking random weekends to travel the city and take heaps of pictures!

10) Do at least ten days worth of community service.

2009 was hectic, but what a refreshing year. I learned so much about myself and the world around me, or at least I think I did. And, I want to keep learning as much as possible and recognize all the opportunities around me whether professional or social. I've set what I think is a group of modest, achievable goals. It's possible that some won't be reached, but that's okay. Provided I do some of it, perhaps I'll make some new friends and / or maintain some existing relationships along the way; well, that would be swell.

Thanks for an incredible year. It's been amazing in so many ways. And I know 2010 is gonna blow 2009 away. Care to join?

annual thanksgiving chatter

taking a short break from work to write... i usually write at around noon every thanksgiving and this year will be no different.

2009 has been a tumultuous year... and there's plenty of time left for things to get crazier. but as the most optimistic of pessimistic people, 'opportunity' has characterized this year, for me, and i think for others. and interestingly, i've only just realized some opportunities. i wont delve into specifics, i'd rather pontificate a bit about when and how to seek opportunities.

i'm a huge fan of straight relaxing, 'don't think too much' type of nights... but i'm also a huge fan of finding opportunity at every moment, but that seems tiring. so i think a nice fusion of the two becomes recognizing opportunity. the people who succeed are the ones who can quickly spot an opportunity. i have not been one of those people, but believe that i'm honing that skill and am getting better each day.

so as an early 2010 resolution, i will somehow develop the innate, unconscious ability to recognize opportunity. as a corollary that requires me to consciously stop drowning myself in negativity, a tough endeavor for a generally pessimistic-bitter person.

anyhow, happy thanksgiving folks. hope it's a good one.

a random one

things that make me happy:

sunny days
kids with their parents on the subway, having a good time
a stranger helping out a stranger
lunch outside (kinda goes along with sunny days)
hearing an old fusion song on my ipod or pandora or anywhere
hearing an old fr3sh song on my ipod or pandora or anywhere
when the gf sends me email at work
5 dollar footlongs
when the yankees win
eating dinner with the fam
long weekends with old friends

things that make me sad:

seeing homeless people and not being able to help
not seeing my family
hearing an old fusion song on my ipod or pandora or anywhere
hearing an old fr3sh song on my ipod or pandora or anywhere
being really thirsty in bed but too tired to move
realising that i shouldnt have opened a tab the next morning

so this was totally random i dont know why i felt compelled to blog about this. i suppose a quick convo with laura that went a lil something like this, "i think i might blog again" made me blog tonight lol.

anyhoo, i believe tomorrow is our six year anniversary or something.... we're not really sure when it started but around this time. also happens to be my older brother's birthday. in case you havent heard from me, or him, in a while, he's got the most beautiful daughter ever yo!

okay, i think anyone that is reading this should add to the two lists above; it'll be great so do it! and add them here - http://timsalterego.blogspot.com/ - not on facebook b/c i never go on it anymore thanks =)

peace!

i've spent my whole life trying to get the attention of people around me with sporadic success by almost ALWAYS doing things for them. i've done some pretty crazy things just to make the people around me (from this point forward i'll use peoples b/c i feel like i'll use it a lot) happy. i never really thought about why i did it. i just thought i was supposed to do it. and the shitty thing is, generally speaking, that a lot of times it was for nothing in that not only did i not receive the attention i wanted, but instead received criticism and disappointment from peoples.

on many levels, i've given up on this endeavor and even worse is that i'll continue to receive criticism and disappointment from peoples with words like abandonment, wrongdoings, unfairness, mean, etc.

recently i've become utterly numb, unaffected by things that used to take a serious toll on my mental health. still, it's just all very unfair. all i've ever wanted to do was making peoples happy. just wanted to make them proud. make their lives more enjoyable. obviously i'm not that numb.

sorry for disappointing you all and somehow offending you.

--

and the last thing i want now is any attention at all.

2009

What to accomplish this year?

1) I want to find the delicate balance between inaction and apathy:

One of the biggest lessons I have learned this past year is that there's a lot more that we don't know than we do know. I suppose I've always knew this but something made this point resonate all throughout the year. And this little epiphany has taught me that it's okay for people to do stupid things. In my opinion, I simply cannot judge anyone for anything because of the unknowns in his or her life.

The simple idea of relativity has impacted my current philosophy on life as well. I don't subscribe to the belief that the only absolute in life is that there are no absolutes. I haven't gave that idea much thought and probably will not. Anyways, back to relativity, at least my definition of it. Simple enough, people learn from experiences. It's obvious to me that personal experiences have the greatest impact in shaping one's character/personality/etc. Next comes the experiences of a very close friend or relative. Then come the experiences of others not so close to us. It's only through experiences that we discern what's so-called "right" and "wrong". The good or bad decisions that we've made or will make are predicated on what we've already experienced. It's impossible for me to know everyone's experiences; this isn't a profound thought. In fact, it's incredibly simple. So then, it's incredibly simple for me to be non-judgmental. In effect, I just don't care.

So then, what I need to figure out is when it's okay to intervene or offer unsolicited advice or opinions? Is it ever okay? I guess I need to learn how to be nice and the timing of it all.

2) Save the world:

There's a lot of poverty and sickness out there. I need to do something about it.

3) Help the family business:

I have to do my part.

4) Learn as much as humanly possible:

There's always something to learn. I want to read at least 50 books or about one a week. I want to relearn C++, STATA, SAS, and VBA. I want to become fluent in Spanish and Cantonese and start to learn another language. I want to continue to learn MMA, BJJ, CSW, and other combative sports.

5) Keep friends:

I love my friends and family. I can't imagine life without so many people. Inevitably, I've forgotten to tag people. I promise it's not because they're not important. It's mostly because of the absolute fuck show of a friendslist that's been built through a couple years of college and post-college.